Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?