DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.