If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.