Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.