Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.